IC CONTACT.

[osreborn]

(555 - 888 - 3010)

"Norman Osborn. If you're calling about a job interview, hang up now and call [ business phone number ]. Otherwise stay on the line and leave a message. I'll get back to you when I can."

beep!

calls | voice mail | text messages | email

Comments

voice from a blocked number

[bullseye]

[there's a crash over what sounds like a tv blasting sham-wow commercial and some frantic, hushed whispering that is clearly bullseye]

Shit, shit, shit, it's Norman!

voice from a crazy person

[deadfool]

[DIVING FOR THE PHONE so there's a huge whumph followed by the loudest and least subtle whispering in the universe]

WAIT he's telling hot chicks to give out his phone number so he can have gay phone sex?!

HANG ON I'M TWEETING THIS TOO.

[bullseye]

[still frantically whispering even though his cover is obviously blown also it sounds like there is a struggle going on like elephants are tromping through mountains of chimichanga wrappers]

Hang up, you asshole!

[deadfool]

I REFUSE IT'S AGAINST MY RELIGION!

[no he has no idea what he's talking about but whatever he's clearly winning because his voice never gets quieter or farther away]

Hey shouldn't we be asking what he's wearing?! HEY NORMS WHAT ARE YOU WEARING

[osreborn]

[ Picks up the phone, sounding thoroughly pissed off. ]

What are you idiots doing?!

[deadfool]

[PROMPTLY STOPS FIGHTING OVER THE PHONE]

I don't think it's right that you're cheating on the Deputy Gayor, Normster.

Don't you know how many fans you guys have?!

omg edit button i miss you

[bullseye]

[STILL WHISPERING BUT VERY FURIOUSLY]

I DON'T WANNA KNOW WHAT HE'S WEARING, GIMME THE FUCKING COMM, DEAD--

[he gives an oof! as he apparently trips over something and falls down, knocking over a pile of cans, judging from the racket but then he hears norman's angry voice and he's no longer whispering but shouting and trying to cover his ass]

Some dumb BITCH gave me your number!

[osreborn]

[ At Deadpool: ] Are you still on about that? Really? Nothing else has gotten your attention yet?

[ He sounds so disappointed. ]

And did she tell you to call me in the middle of the night, too?

[bullseye]

[if his voice sounds distant it's because he's lying on the floor half buried under jumbo cups from fast food places and hot pockets sleeves]

WHY THE HELL ELSE WOULD I BE CALLING AT THIS TIME??

[deadfool]

No way I'm getting #deputygayor to the front page if it kills me!

Or you!

Well someone, anyway.

[osreborn]

How should I know why you do the things you do, Bullseye? You're a lunatic. Both of you are.

[ Grinds his teeth. ]

Say whatever the hell you want about him. My name doesn't belong on twitter.

[bullseye]

OK BUT--

[rustling as he climbs out of the garbage and moves closer to the comm and stops shouting]

Tell me who that annoying broad is and why the hell she gave me your number? Who's she, your ex? Ex-secretary? She's got that bitchy Hand attitude, I could see it. Man, I never got the chance to kill Goth girl in her sleep like I said would, she's not around is she?

SORRY DEADPOOL

[osreborn]

Selina Kyle, and it's a bit complicated. [ He pauses a moment, thinking. ] Hand was around, she hasn't been for about a year. At least. It's not important. Why did she give you my number?

[bullseye]

That's too bad. Hehh.

It was supposed to be for phone sex. Real complicated, I bet, right?

[osreborn]

She's a spiteful little firecracker. Never quite got over me.

[bullseye]

Will you be pissy if I kill 'er?

[osreborn]

How about I give you her address?

[bullseye]

[can you hear that grin, normie?]

Now we're gettin' somewhere. You wanna do anything special with the body or should I make it all disappear?

[osreborn]

Just go to her house and burn it down. Better yet -- blow it up, I'll even give you the tools for it. Don't worry about her for now.

[bullseye]

Consider it done.

[osreborn]

Good job. Now, if you happen to be in the area of a person who has an accident sometime in the next couple of days, of course, don't tell me. I won't look for it in the papers. [ Pauses. ] And I suppose I'll also pay you.


(LB says she'd prefer to handwave the actual blowing up since Selina won't be home, but she'll make a post about it later tonight. Is that cool? c:)

[bullseye]

[uh he was totally gonna do it for free but not sayin' anything now nyaaah]

Okie dokie.

[ooc: sounds great!]

[osreborn]

[ MIGHT AS WELL NOT TAKE RISKS HERE. ]

And I don't think I need to tell you to be discreet. As discreet as an explosion can be.

[bullseye]

Hey, I'm a professional, Osborn. You know you don't need to tell me twice. Her place is gonna be a smear of soot on the pavement and I won't be anywhere near there.

[osreborn]

Good to hear it. I'll go ahead and assume you're capable.